I read both of your articles, and I think they are be quite insightful. One comment I will make regarding your article on fixed opinions and quarrels involves the issue you mentioned about facing “reality”.
What I have found, more recently, is MY reality can be quite different from another person’s. I recently had a bit of a quarrel with two of my sisters over my intention to Uber over to their house instead of driving. They each expressed their concern that I will be exposing myself to Covid by riding in close quarters with the driver. I “argued” that I’m not worried about that (as we’ve had these types of discussions before). I argued for quite a while before I gave up and decided to just drive. Although they were worried about MY exposure, they were equally concerned that if I was exposed, then I would spread it to them. In this case, my “reality” is not to fear something I believe to be bull$h*t. Their reality is they believe it’s all real and fear it.
Regarding your article about anger, I absolutely agree and believe that one should just walk away if things begin to get heated. In the past, I use to argue almost to the point of “blows” (refusing to back down) if I believed I was right about something. I have since learned to just walk away before it gets, too far...but, even now, sometimes it can be difficult.
A couple of years ago, I found myself getting angry and arguing with my brother-in-law about certain things. Unfortunately, he was not in his right mind when he was doing these things, and (intellectually) I knew this. However, his behavior would become aggressive if he didn’t get his way about many of the things we argued about. When I’d walk away, he would get angry and follow me to continue the argument. Over time I started limiting the time I spent in his presence. If things began to heat up, I would NOT argue, but walk away or leave the room when he started getting agitated. One time, I locked myself in the bathroom to get away from him until he calmed down.
Sadly, he has recently passed away. He use to be a very warm-hearted, personable individual, and I understand/realize it was his illness that was causing his problem. However, at the time, avoiding the arguments by not allowing his behavior to make me angry was the best course of action for both of us.
I can't remember anyone being angry with me or vice versa for over 20 years. If someone disagrees with me I agree with them that it is so. I know what I know and what I don't know, I don't know. I am always free to change my opinion and I always allow others to do the same. Of course there have been the occasional 'uncomfortable' situations but they were always resolved quite quickly, without any anger. This has played out this way for most of my life, even during my two divorces.
Of course I do know what anger can mean and how it can affect my actions and emotions. Once, as a young man, I was very angry and almost killed the boy next door, he was already seeing purple blue and barely moved. All my childhood abuse traumas came out during that anger and I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I was so shocked at myself that from that moment on I started to deal with my anger very differently. I taught myself to always count to ten and to put myself in the other person's shoes. In this way I changed myself and became the way I am now.
“…become master over yourself, master of your own good qualities…" - Friedrich Nietzsche
I wrote an article on my website about discrimination and stigmatization that I feel applies very much to the situation we find ourselves in these days.
We have those that believe the new normal is normal and necessary to combat the coro-na-crisis and we have those that believe the corona measures are used to destroy our civilization in order to resurrect a new one that will lead to less freedom or no freedom at all.
In my rather lengthy article I try to explain how essential information can be hided from us when we stigmatize those we don’t agree with.
I hope you want to read this article as I think it is of the utmost importance to get a better understand of what discrimination is and how it comes about.
I hope people will use this article to help their fellow man to wake up to what is going on.